Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
