I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
