If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's shark week go big or go home
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
