Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
