No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
