Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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