I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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