first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
