I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
