Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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