I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
