stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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