ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
