I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need water and some morals
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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