So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
