the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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