Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
