4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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