I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
