I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
