Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
false alarm. still invincible.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
