Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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