we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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