I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think I sprained my soul last night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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