it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize