I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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