i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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