Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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