You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
