I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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