Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
