he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
