just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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