Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
