My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just want nice things and good sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
