My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You have to summon your inner elephant
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
