when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
