That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
