life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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