Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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