no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
