We won't sleep together?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
