Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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