Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
