so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
