i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
