she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
