would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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