Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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