I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
