And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
