Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
me + whiskey = a bad person
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
