he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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