Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
