is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
