Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am available for nakedness
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
