I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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