I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
