so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
